i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
