She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
