You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
