i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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