party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
