pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
