pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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