Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
