Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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