this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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