...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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