I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
