I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
