He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
