That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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