Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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