I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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