I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
