do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
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She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Someone signed my nipple.
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