..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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