im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
