im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
