Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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