I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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