Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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