She announced her abortion via fbk
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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