I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
