There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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