just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
