oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
