It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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