Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
