he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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