I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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