Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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