Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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