No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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