when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
