I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
PANTIES FOUND
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