I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
