i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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