Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
