dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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