I got chris browned last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's shark week go big or go home
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
