Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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