Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
