Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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