Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He felt like a one man threesome
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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