Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
