I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
