my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
