So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize