I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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