the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
