There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
