he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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