I'm gonna have a badass scar
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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