He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize